LAUGH IT UP JOKES
The IRS Agent on Halloween
The door bell, rings, and a man answers it. Here stands this plain but well dressed kid, saying,
"Trick or Treat!" The man asks the kids what he is dressed up like for Halloween. The kid replies,
"I'm an IRS agent." Then he takes 40 percent of the man's candy, leaves, and doesn't say thank you.
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Businessman on His Deathbed
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my
remains cremated." "And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"
The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service and write on the envelope,
"Now you have everything."
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Accountant and the Business Owner
There once was a business owner who was interviewing people for a division manager position. He decided to select the individual
that could answer the question "how much is 2+2?"
The engineer pulled out his slide rule and shuffled it back and forth, and finally announced "It lies between 3.98 and 4.02".
The mathematician said "In two hours I can demonstrate it equals 4 with the following short proof."
The attorney stated "In the case of Svenson vs. the State, 2+2 was declared to be 4."
The trader asked "Are you buying or selling?"
The accountant looked at the business owner, then got out of his chair, went to see if anyone was listening at the door and
pulled the drapes. Then he returned to the business owner, leaned across the desk and said in a low voice "What would you
like it to be?"
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Short Business Jokes
When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn't increase my pay,
but if I told him the names of the three men he'd fire them.
I'm always delighted when people stick their noses in my business - my company makes paper tissues.
My husband's business is rather up-and-down - he makes yo-yos.
When Bernard got fired from his last job they were really tough. They made him hand back his keys to the executive toilets,
return his company credit card, give back his company car, and even give back his ulcer!
Another friend of mine is a very successful businessman. He started with five thousand pounds - now he owes fifty-five million.
I once knew a couple who were in the iron and steel business - she did the ironing, while he went out stealing |
